Craig and Kelly were known for their antics offstage as much as on-

Did Their Excessive Lifestyle Put the Bad in the Boy?

"I smell steroid rage!" -Geraldo Rivera 

"Speed kills!" -Almost every one else

The news headlines at the time of this writing involve our little world in a horrendous tragedy. The life of a vibrant young woman was snuffed out somewhere between the fringe of an alleged sex triangle with one of our industry's most obvious couples and the trunk of a burning red Jaguar. With all the pomp and circumstance of a cross-country manhunt, complete with a SWAT team arrest in a nail salon on network news, Craig Titus and Kelly Ryan today stand accused of doing the snuffing and the burning.

Worst Case Scenario

 In exploiting their bodybuilding celebrity, the media has pretty much indicted bodybuilding right along with Craig and Kelly. Apart from sensationalizing Craig and Kelly's sometimes extreme images, drugs have been firmly established as part of the murder mix to the degree that Geraldo Rivera "smells steroid rage." The fact that Craig looked like he weighed 195 pounds when he got popped still prompted Geraldo's ludicrous remark akin to the one where he smelled gold in Al Capone's safe. Titus looked like he'd spent the summer living on the end of a crack pipe in Auschwitz and Geraldo still smells steroid rage.

Beyond the fact that Geraldo is an idiot, this is a very serious issue and murder, accessory to murder and arson are serious charges indeed. And, it's exacerbated by the fact that in Nevada, there's a death penalty applicable to murder cases with special circumstances such as premeditation and torture. I got it from more than one lawyer that the duct tape found on the decedent's face is going to be a big problem for whoever did the killing.

Accordingly, one of several very plausible, worst case scenarios could look something like this: Kelly would be faced with making the decision to accept a plea deal and testify against Craig in order to convict him of first degree murder. That would give new meaning to the term, "till death do us part." She'd be nailing his coffin shut. There's also the chance it could go the other way and Craig would be put in the position of sealing Kelly's fate. Or, would he die for his wife? Just imagine the thoughts that they think locked in their cells as each night drags on.

To go from where these two stood just a few weeks ago, to where they are now is as unimaginable as it is surreal. But taking into account those involved, could it have been foreseen? I am but one of many who knew Craig who believes that, while mortified that he would be implicated in something so terrible, it's not out of his realm. If there were a list of bodybuilders who might one day be accused of killing someone and those who knew him saw Craig's name on it, they'd probably go along with it.

Be that as it may, what about Kelly? Because Craig was the "bad boy of bodybuilding" his name seems to come up first on our industry's short list of suspects in the murder of Melissa James. It may not be surprising to find out in the end, that Craig indeed committed this murder, but what about his wife? By all accounts, Kelly wouldn't even be on the list of suspects, however by some accounts, she appears at this point more culpable than Craig. But, you know, thinking someone could kill and then actually having it come to fruition are two entirely different things. Craig and Kelly may have a reputation less than admirable, but murder?

Several Thousand Threads

Trying to make sense of this whole mess and trying to put it into perspective and at the same time vindicate our world from the vilification of the media is a lot like trying to herd cats: there's no seemingly congruent angle that passes muster on all sides except for one- drugs. Not steroids mind you, but hardcore recreational drugs. In the end, we're going to be faced with a very unfortunate, very profound and probably preventable series of sad events that brought an end to at least one young life.

However, at this point, the fruits of any forensic investigation haven't leaked out and the cops investigating the case aren't going to be forthcoming with news of their ongoing investigation. All we really know is that Craig and Kelly may have had something to do with burning their car. Did they put anything in their trunk? If they did, was it a body or an unconscious victim? Was a murder scene ever found and if so was forensic evidence discovered that links the killing to either Craig or Kelly? Was it torture and murder or was it overdose and panic? For some reason someone seemed to have felt the need to get rid of the body. Craig has been reported as saying "no body, no crime." What crime? For us, it's all conjecture and there are several thousand threads up on the boards to prove it. You can bet the cops know more than we do and they know enough to suspect Craig of the killing and Kelly as the accessory. Craig and Kelly's roles may flip flop and there always remains the possibility, however remote some may think, that they could get off! Remember, the trail of blood lead from Bundy Drive, into his Bronco, up the driveway at Rockingham, into the house and up onto his socks and O.J. still walked.

Whatever the outcome in this case, it's monumentally unimaginable to have to be dealing with such issues within our community. Craig and Kelly are people we know. We hung out with them, went to their parties, interviewed them, photographed them, cringed at their antics, asked for their autographs, watched them compete and read all about them in MD; they represent our world. Now they're subject matter for cable news programming that has not only trumpeted these insane murder charges against this "bodybuilding couple," but also taken great care to espouse the salacious nature of their reported lifestyle rife with wife swapping, group sex and other carnal voyages, which allegedly included the odd stripper or two and a vast array of recreational drugs.

The media loves this story, it's dirty as hell. But it's got nothing to do with bodybuilding. Unfortunately, we're the only ones who know that. In reality, IF Craig is convicted, it's just a story about an asshole who at one time in his life used to be a bodybuilder. Most of the world will eventually discount the fact that he was a bodybuilder. If convicted of killing someone with whom he was allegedly having an affair, he'll just be remembered as an asshole, which is what Geraldo should be smelling. A far more telling, however far less sensational, report would be aimed at what lead Craig and Kelly down what looks to be a long, dark, lonely road. What was it that caught them in the spiraling current back when they could still pull out of it? And what marked each successive spiral as the vortex pulled them further and further down into the abyss?

You should care. Craig and Kelly, as we knew them, are gone. Win, lose or draw, their lives, along with Melissa James, are over, and three families are shattered. While some wonder in disbelief at its sudden end, there are some who could see the gradual decline and agree with it. While others will say it was their destiny to go out in flames. In considering it their destiny, I'm reminded of Confucius who said, "If the coal does not seek the flame, neither will fulfill its destiny." I'm not talking about Craig and Kelly's attraction to each other, I'm talking about their attraction to their lifestyle.

"The Evil a Man Does Lives On..."

In searching for answers to this tragedy, one might ponder whether what it is that attracts a person to bodybuilding might also make them attracted to other bad boy traits, or can living the bodybuilding lifestyle turn a good person to the dark side because of what he's exposed to? Back in the day, before Bally Total Fitness and 24-hour Fitness, there was only one- Gold's Gym- and it was home to an odd lot indeed. Gregg Valentino could talk for six years straight and not tell the same insane story twice about his adventures at the Mecca. To say some of those characters who made up the infamous stories of the era were a little off is an understatement. All the birds flocked together at Gold's.

On top of that eccentric band of freaks and misfits who called Gold's Venice home, there was another contingent of muscled up, tattooed, pierced, bearded mofos that could always hook a brother up. If you ever wanted to score a little gear, a bag of weed, a handful of Valium^®, get your hands on a gun, illegal fireworks, or have the miles turned back on your car, it was all available either from, or through, some "guy from the gym."

Muscles, along with shaved heads, tattoos, various styles of facial hair, piercings, drugs, a pimped-up ride or a phat motorcycle and bad behavior all seem to go together. Is it because one is inclined to that lifestyle and he seeks it out or does its allure somehow entice those who would otherwise tread the straight and narrow? And, if you add drugs to the equation, do the odds raise exponentially that you might end up one day in a plight much like Craig and Kelly's? Is it nature or nurture? It's the age-old question and it's no less applicable here.

Why did this happen? As if on cue, the media has brought "steroids" into this thing practically from the get go. And don't think for a second that this murder isn't being looked at as a big juicy chunk of political recognition for a G-man trying to look pretty. If steroids can get enough negative propaganda as this case continues to unfold it won't be long before some opportunist spins it into something on the order of, "We've got these Garibaldi and Hooton kids killing themselves on steroids and now we have someone murdered because of steroids." It's not that far a stretch. And it's not good- at least not for us.

The media is already hard at work fashioning an image for bodybuilding based on the actions of one couple and they're not pulling punches. Rather, they're throwing in some they pulled out of their socks. The way the media is playing this, if Craig is convicted of murder, the axiom is going to read: Craig is a bodybuilder therefore he takes steroids; people who use steroids are murderers; hence, all bodybuilders are 'roided out murderers. It was not too different in the 60s when every biker was considered a Hell's Angel just because all Hell's Angels rode motorcycles. Surely there were good, law-abiding citizens who rode motorcycles, much as there are some truly clean-cut and clean living bodybuilders. But they're not interesting.

Shakespeare once wrote that "the evil a man does lives on while the good is interred with his bones." It's just human nature; how many of you know who cured polio? Now compare that with how many of you know the name of the guy who killed John Lennon. By the same token, Craig and Kelly have been limelight personalities in our world for the last 10 years. They didn't get on national news until they got charged with killing someone. Conceivably, in the not too distant future, a bodybuilder could be walking down the street all pumped up in his tank top and the "ordinary" brainwashed by the media person walking toward them will cross the street and walk on the other side.

The Juice Defense?

Assuming a guilty verdict, and/or a plea deal, will it all have been the fault of the pill, the pipe, the pin or the personalities involved? Is Craig a victim of his surroundings or was he just predisposed to behavior unbecoming? Was Kelly as much a victim of Craig's as Melissa James was allegedly a victim of theirs? These are very complex questions and they'll be debated for some time to come. You have to wonder, if Craig and Kelly were assembly-line workers in a GM plant in Kentucky, would Craig still be accused of murder? Is Geraldo smelling something as foul as "steroid rage" or is it just his breath blowing back in his face?

Since the media has already wasted no time in dragging steroids into this- from the panelist on Fox News' "On the Record w/ Greta Van Susteren" who said, "Maybe Melissa James OD'd on their steroids," to the blanket referrals to "steroids" as well as other recreational drugs on all media and, of course, Geraldo's retarded olfactory prediction- this case is as much about drugs as it is about anything else. It probably has a lot to do with drugs. In reality, I'm willing to bet little to none of it will be bodybuilding drugs.

At the time of Craig's arrest he certainly didn't look like he was "bodybuilding." Was he still jacked? It sure didn't look it, but who knows, he could have started up the week before the alleged murder. If he was jacked, did it have anything to do with his alleged proclivity to kill? I think that's a good question. Rather than take the word of a babbling, fear-mongering, egomaniac on network news, I think I'll ask an expert.

Come to think of it, I'm going to ask several experts about all the factors that could have contributed to this tragedy. With respect to steroids, since the media has asserted that steroids were involved, could it be used in the defense? If Craig or Kelly are going to somehow scream the, "It was the juice!" defense, I think it would be interesting to see if it would be applicable, or at least rule it out. For that we need to consult our resident legal analyst, the inimitable steroid lawyer, Rick Collins.

Rick doubts that a steroid rage defense would likely beat a homicide rap, pointing out that juries are extremely reluctant to acquit in murder cases where the intoxication or insanity was caused by a voluntarily consumed substance. That goes double if the prosecution can prove that the accused in a case has immediately taken calculated steps to cover up the crime or lie about it, which shows that he knows right from wrong and understands the consequences of his acts. Craig's lawyers might consider claiming steroid-induced extreme mental or emotional disturbance to try to avoid a first degree murder conviction or to reduce the level of the crime to voluntary manslaughter, but that would effectively force them to concede that he killed Melissa James. That might be dumb to concede, depending on what evidence or lack of evidence exists as to the killing. Rick says that another way of playing the steroid rage card would be after a conviction, as a mitigating factor or to try to avoid the death penalty if Craig gets convicted of first degree murder.

What about the other side using the steroid rage card in their prosecution? Would the prosecution try to create an image of a 'roided-out sociopath with a blow-torch? Rick doubts that, too. The burden of proof in this case revolves around proving beyond any reasonable doubt that Craig or Kelly killed someone, not what mechanism might have set them off. The circumstantial evidence that we know of so far has nothing to do with steroids and the prosecution would only muddy the waters by bringing it up. So, as far as the great legal mind goes, this smells less like "steroid rage" and more like the uninformed, knee-jerk "murder+bodybuilder=steroids" assumptions of a fear-mongering reporter. As far as Rick knows, nobody has ever been acquitted on a steroid rage defense.

Does 'Roid Rage Exist?

Steroids may be out as far as the legal aspects of fighting this case, but does it rule them out completely? Do steroids cause behavior traits to erode to such a degree that murder isn't outside the realm of possibilities? I don't think there's a more cogent summation of the available data than that offered by Dr. Jack Darkes, PhD, associate director, Alcohol & Substance Use Research Institute and the assistant professor and associate scientist, department of psychology at the University of South Florida. Jack has pretty much defined the relationship between androgens and aggression and totally discounts any notion that the murder of Melissa James smells of steroid rage.

First of all, is there such a thing as "steroid rage"? Does testosterone instigate aggression and rage? Harrison Pope, Jr., MD, at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts and David Katz, MD, of Harvard Medical School have reported that anabolic/androgenic steroid use leads to psychological disturbances. Clinical as well as anecdotal evidence has found that many times the drugs lead to unusually aggressive and irritable behavior. These doctors interviewed over 40 bodybuilders and football players who admitted using steroids. Almost half of those interviewed reported maniac and near maniac behavior during their drug cycles. The most common symptoms reported were hyperactivity and inflated self-esteem, which increased their drive to train harder during their workouts.

Dr. Katz reported one bodybuilder who, convinced of his own immortality, deliberately drove his new Corvette into a tree at over 60 miles per hour while a friend videotaped him (Yes, he did live, and no he's not immortal, just a jackass). Several other subjects experienced severe psychotic behavior during their steroid cycles. One had hallucinations, while another became paranoid and believed that his friends were stealing from him.

All these episodes stopped when the steroid cycle stopped. Dr. Katz believes that certain types of steroids, especially androgens, cause neurotransmitters in the brain to become depleted and short-circuited. But, could this instigate a murderous episode? If so, then shouldn't there be more bodybuilders up on murder charges?

Dr. Darkes points out that the negative psychological and behavioral effects of anabolic/androgenic steroids (AAS) seem to be accepted as a proven fact in popular, nonscientific literature; however, there's little conclusive proof supporting this presumption. Furthermore, the studies that do exist all contain an inherent flaw because they can't account for behavioral traits, particularly violence and aggression, before the subjects took steroids. The available literature also can't account for what Dr. Darkes describes as the psychological "placebo effect" that may occur from an AAS user's expectations of heightened aggression. At best, we can conclude that "'roid rage," to the extent that it exists, may be limited to specific varieties of AAS and that such hyper-aggressive states may well be the result of pre-existing tendencies or predetermined expectations of the user.

Dr. Darkes also notes that another issue associated with bodybuilders with respect to episodic rage is that, unlike any other sport, bodybuilders reportedly are likely to use much higher doses of drugs. This fact makes instances of aggression expected among bodybuilders and reported to be more prevalent because it's expected. Reports of 'roid rage, whether real, exaggerated, assumed or imagined have become more closely associated with the bodybuilding culture than any other sport- hence, platitudes on the order of Geraldo's "I smell steroid rage."

The Drug-Taking Mindset

But will taking steroids cloud a bodybuilder's judgment to the degree that it would cause someone to commit murder, as implied by Geraldo and the rest of the sensationalistic egomaniacs who bring us the "news"?

The reality, according to Dr. Darkes, is that the relationship between testosterone and aggression is extremely complex. As with most relationships between physiology and complex behavior, it reflects a "biopsychosocial" process, involving an interaction between the biological substrate of hormonal action, the psychological makeup and predispositions of the individual and their social environment.

I doubt Geraldo can even pronounce "biopsychosocial," however, that's not to say bodybuilders on long-term, high doses of testosterone don't exhibit aggressive behavior. Sometimes, for whatever reason, they do, and, involve themselves in an environment rife with nefarious behavior, so sometimes they get a bit unruly; but, drive them to commit murder? Probably not, but is there a chance?

If there is, it's infinitesimal. Although steroid use is reportedly widespread, not only in our community, but all sports, various forms of entertainment and within the anti-aging community, relatively few steroid users exhibit overtly aggressive behavior or "rage." Science has been seeking to answer the question, or at least whittle down the vast disparity in opinions and they've fashioned some truly unique methodologies to get to the elusive truth.

The big problem for researchers, according to Dr. Darkes, is that the choice to use steroids, potentially at high doses, is likely to be confounded with a number of predisposing individual differences. For instance, in one study, researchers followed a group of on and off cycling steroid users and another group of lifters who didn't use steroids. What they found was that the steroid users were more hostile than non-users. However, this was regardless of whether they were on or off cycle. While this was a longitudinal (prospective), quasi-experimental study, it suggests that those who choose to use steroids are more hostile over time, whether using or not. The assessment of hostility prior to first-ever drug use (difficult to accomplish given the low base rate of steroid use) would be more telling.

Acknowledging that the full extent and nature of the relationship between testosterone, psychology and environment remains unexplained (making a clear, acceptable, inference of cause and effect indeterminable), you have to agree that, considering the bodybuilding community is the ultimate consumer of exogenous testosterone, the paucity of "steroid murders" in our community indicates that the chance is, at best, extremely remote.

So, from the legal, pharmacological and pathological aspect, clearly steroids, nor Geraldo's "steroid rage" are NOT responsible for, nor have anything to do with, the death of Melissa James. Bodybuilding itself should be vindicated. There's one thing, however, that's the common thread between our world and the realm that consumed Craig and Kelly and that is "the drug taking mindset."

The Pathology of Recreational Drugs

The late, original guru, Dan Duchaine, always said, "If you do drugs, then you do drugs." He observed in his charges that virtually none who accepted the use of performance-enhancing drugs would shun the use of recreational drugs. I've encountered this phenomenon myself. Of all the gearheads I know, virtually all use recreational drugs. Some will use a staggering array of both concomitantly!

Admittedly, Craig and Kelly were of the drug taking mindset, and it's no secret in our community that they partied hard. In fact, you have to look pretty far and wide to not hear a depraved story about them. From alleged wife swapping to group sex, to trolling the titty bars for stray strippers while they did ecstasy, cocaine, Nubain, crystal meth (ice), special K, GHB, you name it; at one point or another, they were out intentionally setting new lows. I'm not trying to air their dirty laundry, but if the media is going to sensationalize a story, they should at least be sniffing the most likely trail. Steroids aren't it.

What about crack rage? Or meth rage? Whatever recreational drugs that may or may not have been in use at the time of the alleged murder seem to be an overlooked, yet no less important, aspect. You'd have to have been living under a rock these last several weeks to not hear the words crystal meth, crack, GHB, cocaine, ecstasy and painkillers in the same sentence as Craig and Kelly.

Could their involvement with these drugs have triggered a series of events that in the end turned catastrophic? For that we go to Dr. Steven Karch. Dr. Karch is the medical director of Las Vegas Fire and Rescue and the assistant medical examiner of the City and County of San Francisco. His textbook, Karch's Pathology of Drug Abuse, is regarded as the authority on the pathology of recreational drugs. I don't think anyone knows drugs better than Dr. Karch.

In discussing this aspect of Craig and Kelly, I want to make it perfectly clear that I have little firsthand knowledge of their alleged recreational drug use, especially in the weeks and months leading up to the murder. However, the widespread allegations of their involvement with cocaine, ecstasy, crystal meth, etc., deserve mention, especially since these drugs could far more readily be part of this mess than steroids and the media has completely ignored them. "They looked like they were doing a lot of blow," or "they looked like they were smoking ice," has been mentioned quite a bit by sources close to the couple. But can you just look at someone and determine what drugs they're doing?

I posed this question to Dr. Karch. I mean, anecdotal evidence seems to be trumpeted quite liberally regarding what drugs they were using and the extent to which they were using them. But, from an expert's perspective- the expert- are there blatant outward physical indications that point to one drug specifically or another?

Dr. Karch answered with a story about the Willie Nelson look-alike contests they used to have when he worked in the emergency room. He pointed out that all the derelicts who used to come in started to look the same. He doubts that there's a pathologist alive who could look at a body on a slab and say what he was on. In fact, he pointed to ample literature that showed, for example, that today, the average weight of a dead heroin addict is no different than the rest of the population. Significant weight loss, in Craig's case, could be attributed to other things. He could have been eating Twinkies, drinking Coca-Cola and smoking Camels; he could look emaciated without speed. However, could his apparent condition also be attributed to the recreational drugs he allegedly used, specifically crystal meth and cocaine? Dr. Karch says, "Absolutely."

According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), crystal meth (also called "Hitler's drug," because it was allegedly used by the Nazis as a "combat drug" to fuel aggression and help soldiers stay awake and remain focused for long periods) usually causes increased activity, decreased appetite and a heightened sense of well-being. Because of its stimulating effects, it's a very addictive drug. Chronic meth abusers exhibit symptoms that can include violent behavior, anxiety, confusion and insomnia. They also can display a number of psychotic features, including paranoia, visual and auditory hallucinations and out-of-control rages that can be coupled with extremely violent and self-destructive behavior.

Dr. Karch also notes that he associates violence and aggressive behavior with methamphetamine more than anything else- especially steroids. There are far more reports of cases of domestic violence, child abuse, assaults and bizarre attacks for no reason when ice is in the mix.

Cocaine could also cause aggressive behavior and personality changes because of its biological properties. NIDA statistics conclude that cocaine impairs the brain's mechanisms required for the exercise of free will and reason. Crack cocaine users are especially susceptible to aggressive paranoid behavior and can become violent.

While a direct link between alleged recreational drug use and a person's diminished physique might not necessarily exist, to rule it out would be irresponsible. It would also be irresponsible to count out such drug use as a contributing factor in the demise in which Craig and Kelly are involved. But, as Dr. Karch is quick to point out, a statement on the order of Geraldo smelling steroid rage is totally irresponsible. Clearly, steroids had nothing to do with this.

A Tough Pill to Swallow

Finally, there's the impact of environment. Would livin' Las Vegas loca, in conjunction with Craig and Kelly's assumed mindset and strange behavior, mixed into the swirling smoke in the glass bowel of an ice pipe flow into their swirling downward spiral into oblivion? There's no denying a patent attraction to all that is bad. The "bad boy" image has been popularized by everything from rap and hip hop, various sports and entertainment personalities with great success. What is the attraction to the dark side? Dr. Darkes points out that there definitely exists an attraction to those things you're not supposed to do. There's an innate attraction to the things that add up to the "bad boy." If one is inclined to have this attraction and be under the influence of powerful mind-altering and/or central nervous system stimulating drugs, a distortion of reality, poor decision making, overly aggressive episodes and violence can erupt to severe consequence.

Clearly, a good look at the underlying environmental aspects of Craig and Kelly's life could only lead one farther and farther away from any association they might have had with bodybuilding and/or the use of bodybuilding drugs, namely steroids. Their plight is in a sense a classic textbook breakdown of what can happen when strong influences in environment, coupled with recreational drug abuse, spin out of control. If the reports of Craig and Kelly's lifestyle are at all accurate, then it would have been only a matter of time before their world came tumbling down. That in and of itself is a tough pill to swallow for those of us they left behind. To have to acknowledge that their meltdown also brought with it a murder charge, is all the more invidious.

Craig and Kelly, in one way or another, touched all of our lives, even if you didn't like them. In knowing them as we all thought we did, there are some, myself included, who aren't shocked to find them embroiled in such a tragedy. But no one could have foreseen it. In retrospect, we can assess the events of their lives and probably draw a pretty conclusive picture that their ship was taking on water and the bilge pumps, if they were working at all, were running full speed in reverse.

From Craig's poor contest showings, to Kelly's move down the Fitness Olympia lineup instead of into first as they both thought, to the career-ending article written about Kelly by an IFBB judge, to the formation of their Woman's Physique International (WPI) and the enemies they made doing it, to their wild lifestyle wrought with drugs, swinging, alleged affairs and the other trappings of Las Vegas, their lives were probably getting harder and harder to manage. Drugs always make it seem easier. Unfortunately, as each event I described marked their lives, it could easily have also marked a point in which they got drawn further and further into the ever-stronger pull of the vortex into the abyss. Their plight, as well as that of Melissa James, was a concomitant string of unfortunate events, peppered with strong influences from unsavory minds, mostly their own.

That Inevitable Spiral

People often desire easy-to-grasp scenarios, preferring simple and clear-cut conclusions even when faced with decidedly complicated and uncertain realities. Such statements, that a certain drug causes undesirable behavior, often becomes an integral part of "scare tactic" approaches, presenting extreme or worse case scenarios to enhance negative expectations. Unfortunately, such messages mean little to ongoing drug users, probably because their own experiences don't confirm the assertion. As far as they're concerned, there is no problem. That denial, in and of itself, heightens a drug's appeal, especially if the outcome- bigger, faster, stronger, higher, meaner, cooler- is desirable to the individual contemplating use.

Then you have the actual physical surroundings which can sometimes light the match and draw the flame to the end of a short fuse. Vegas has everything, and everything it has is the best of the best. Dr. Karch is quick to point out that, in Las Vegas, drugs such as ecstasy, cocaine and ice are very readily available and of superior quality. I go to Vegas twice a year and stay there for three days or less and I have come to know at least three valets at different top strip hotels who can hook me up, should I so desire, with any or all of the aforementioned drugs. Imagine if I lived there?

Sadly, by several accounts from people who had actually been with them, Craig and Kelly were taking advantage of the ubiquitous Vegas hook up and, allegedly, they seemed to be regular consumers. I saw Craig in mid-November, probably six weeks before the murder and he looked like death eating a cracker. Pale, gaunt, pack of cigarettes in his pocket and, by Bob Chick's account "looked like he weighed about a buck ninety-five."

There's no way any sane person, at least not a hack reporter who had drawn a map in the sand of coalition positions around Baghdad, could have looked at Craig and smelled "steroids." I've seen people, as many of you have too, who are winding down that inevitable spiral into the abyss and it looked to me like Craig wasn't only caught in the current, but he was paddling full steam ahead to the bottom.

It's such a dichotomy considering what was coming out of his mouth. During that last meeting and during many subsequent phone calls he made to me, one as late as December 12 (I still have it on tape), Craig was nothing but upbeat and jubilant about the moves he was making with Kelly in both promoting ICE Gear (the most ironic name I could ever imagine for their clothing line) and their new federation, the WPI. He was talking to me about real estate investments, Kelly's new job as a mortgage broker and my ex-girlfriend moving out to Vegas to "work" for him (I have no idea if she even knows how lucky she was she didn't go). Craig may have sounded like a whack job, but an alleged murderer? I guess anything is possible, however improbable. Yet, here we are mired in the surreal situation where there's a chance we may be watching Craig and Kelly fight for their lives on Court TV.

"Presumed Innocent"

In this day and age, almost everyone has a story about someone, or a couple of someones, who took it a little too far. While most of our associates manage to keep it together- concentrate on business, keep their priorities in order, stay faithful to their mate, party one or two weekends a month and not falter- there are always the few who get eaten up. While the former may seem socially repugnant to some (even to those who drink and smoke), the casual partier is not going to be forced to sell the family jewels in order to pay for their habit, lose their job, or their mate. There's nothing wrong with blowing off a little steam every few weeks, regardless of your vice of choice.

Every group has the one or two who they notice starts partying one or two more weekends a month, then Thursday nights at whatever club gets hot and they never seem to miss; they start looking bad because the next thing you know it's no longer an eight ball on the weekend or a couple of beans washed down with a cap of GHB three or four times a year. It escalates to rolling every weekend, then the weekend turns into three-day binges with no food, no sleep and the odd stripper they pick up and bring home. It keeps moving in that direction until they're all eaten up. They lose a ton of weight, they don't eat right, stop going to the gym, they're always out and gradually, gradually, gradually they seem to be moving faster than you dare. And for good reason; the further down the spiral you go the faster it spins.

Be that as it may, Melissa James is dead. Craig is under arrest for her murder and Kelly is charged as an accessory. Tragedies on this order require explanation for us to process it and try to understand what happened, especially because it involves some of our own and the outside world is looking at all of us a little cock-eyed. And that's really too bad. But, as Rick Collins so eloquently sums it up, "For now, Craig and Kelly are presumed innocent under the law. But while the justice process takes its course, and as the spin doctors spin and the talking heads babble, be prepared for bodybuilding itself to be dealt a black eye. Regardless of who killed Melissa James, all muscle heads everywhere will likely be on the receiving end of some nasty mud slinging from clueless commentators, as if our gym memberships and lifting belts equal guilt by association. Whoever killed Ms. James deserves punishment. The rest of us don't."