I need help, and fast!  Spring break is just three weeks away and I am going to Cancun. I want to get huge and ripped by then, so can you tell me exactly what I need to do? And I know the steroid issue is hot right now, but someone at my university gym can get me some things if I need them. I normally wouldn't even think about juicing, but I have very little time left and need to get in shape fast or else the girls will ignore me.

(Editor's Note: Due to the time-sensitive nature of this letter, Chris answered it personally right away and included it here).

Three weeks? Son, you don't need help, you need a damn time machine! If you understand how the human body works, you would know that there isn't a whole lot you are going to be able to change in that very short amount of time.  With that said, let me clarify. You can get rid of some fat in that time, enough to see a difference, but you just can't add muscle on that quickly.  Getting "huge," with or without drugs, takes a long time and a lot of hard work.  You can't rush it. I hear from too many young guys out there who jump into using dangerous quantities of steroids because they want to look good for some event coming right up. Bad, bad idea! They think using two or three times the usual dose will give them results two or three times faster, and it just doesn't work that way. Your body can only synthesize new muscle tissue so fast. What happens when you try a stunt like that is you get a whole lot of nasty side effects and put your health at risk. So, take it from me and forget about using gear as your quick fix in this situation.

Now, you can drop some serious body fat in three weeks and college girls are usually a lot more impressed by a six-pack than they are with big pecs or arms, anyway. Obviously, your diet is going to be the key here. I would recommend keeping your protein high and dropping your carbs way down. You might even want to try following the Atkins Diet for the next three weeks, eating only protein and fats and staying as close to zero carbs as possible. Don't even think about drinking soda, beer, juice, Gatorade, or any other empty sugar and carb calories that will interfere with reaching your goal. 

Next you need to start doing cardio. Try two 30-45 minute sessions a day, one first thing in the morning before you have breakfast and the other within an hour or two of bedtime. Interval training would probably be best, meaning you alternate all-out "sprints" with more moderately paced recovery periods for the duration of your cardio session. And it certainly wouldn't hurt to add in a powerful fat-burning product like Hydroxycut by MuscleTech. Do what I say, and you should definitely be able to look a lot leaner for your spring break.  Remember to always drink responsibly and practice safe sex (assuming you are able to get some, of course!). And finally, instead of only getting concerned with your physique at the last minute, make it part of your lifestyle. When you get back from Cancun, start working hard in the gym and eating the right foods so by next year, you can be a lot more muscular, as well as leaner. The guys with the really great bodies don't just work out for a few weeks; we do it for life. 

What the hell is going on with the DEA going after bodybuilders? Do you think this will have any real impact on our sport?

Will this have an impact on bodybuilding? I doubt it very much. These government agents thought steroids were some billion-dollar drug ring like cocaine. Unfortunately, they are finding out now it's a lot more small-time than that. I have never heard of steroid drug lords with mansions and private armies that buy off law enforcement officials like you see in Columbia and Mexico with other drugs. Most steroid "dealers" only sell to a very small clientele of friends and acquaintances and they are not getting rich. But because of all this negative attention and interest from the DEA, a lot of pros are taking another route to get their performance-enhancing products. They are going through doctors and life extension clinics to obtain 100 percent legal prescriptions for steroids and growth hormone. When you have that, you can drive around with your stuff in the front seat of your car and never have to worry about getting in trouble.

This is all totally legitimate. The doctors consult with the athletes, run blood tests and prescribe what's needed. Keep in mind that some pro bodybuilders have more or less permanently shut down their body's ability to produce sufficient testosterone, so this is nothing more than hormone replacement therapy. Over a million men in America alone are on HRT these days, so it's not like this is some scam bodybuilders came up with. I have heard that going the legitimate medical route is a lot more expensive, but with that price comes peace of mind that the athlete is no longer breaking the law.  Also, the products are coming directly from a pharmacy, so there is no concern about fake or contaminated drugs anymore. 

Another positive aspect to having the items prescribed is that most bodybuilders will have to reduce their dosages of gear. No doctor is going to write a script for two grams of test a week! So, this should help bodybuilders stay healthier by forcing them to avoid the excesses they may have engaged in before. I always felt steroids were something that should be prescribed by doctors who closely monitor your health before, during and after your cycles, rather than leaving it in the hands of bodybuilders who may not always take the right precautions. I guess instead of saying "too legit to quit," this new method could be called "go legit, don't quit."  

Chris, I was raised by my mother, a devout Christian. She has never had a problem with me lifting weights, but now that I want to compete, she's very upset. Mom thinks going up on stage "half-naked" is a sinful and shameful act. I am 18 and basically have to live by her rules, though I disagree with her on this. Can you think of anything I can say to my mother that might possibly change her mind?

            I would never want to question anyone's religious beliefs, as I feel that is your mother's business and no one else's. And though you don't hear me talk about it that often, I do have faith in God myself. But I can offer my take on how your mom might be able to look at bodybuilding a little differently. As a father with a son of my own, I see bodybuilding as a positive experience. It teaches you discipline and the value of hard work; that's even more so once you finally start competing. Adhering to a strict diet and a regimen of cardio and weight training builds character and gives you a sense of accomplishment whether you take first place or last in your show. 

            Bodybuilding is a sport, though some people don't seem to recognize it as such. Kids who are very active in sports are a lot less likely to get caught up in gangs, drugs and other unsavory activities. And if you have the right genetics, you could even make a living out of bodybuilding. It's true we compete without a lot of clothing on, but it's not a sexual or exhibitionistic type of display like you would see at a strip club. We are merely showing the results of our training and dieting so that a judging panel can determine where we deserve to place. They don't always get it exactly right, but that's a whole other story! 

I can also tell you that I have known many, many bodybuilders whose parents were not happy at all with their decision to compete. But once the parents actually went to a contest and saw what the sport is really all about, their attitudes quickly changed. Some of them even became their kids' biggest fans and supporters. I suspect this could be what happens with your mother. I don't know if you saw the British movie "Bend it Like Beckham" or not, but it reminds me of your situation. A teenage girl with a strict Indian family is very gifted at soccer and wants to play on a team, but her parents absolutely forbid it. She sneaks off and joins a team behind their backs. A lot of drama follows, but in the end, her parents support her and understand that this is what she loves to do most. I am not suggesting you secretly compete or anything like that, but your mother loves you and I think eventually she will accept the sport you love, too.

My arms are out of proportion compared to my calves and chest- basically they suck. I've prioritized my workout schedule so I train arms the first day of the week. Here is my schedule:  

Day 1 arms

Day 2 legs

Day 3 rest

Day 4 chest

Day 5 shoulders

Day 6 back
 I do nine sets for bi's and nine sets for tri's. These are the exercises: barbell curls, dumbbell curls, incline dumbbell, concentration curls, hammer curls, close grip bench presses, skull crushers, overhead extensions, dips and press-downs. I use three exercises each for tri's and bi's. When I stop feeling these, I pick new exercises from the ones above, or alternate. I also do nine sets for forearms, supersetting with wrist curls and reverse curls. The problem is my arms are still pretty small. I eat a lot, too.  What am I doing wrong?
            It's hard for me to say what you're doing wrong if I can't watch you train.  Your form might not be very good.  A lot of guys use too much weight and more or less throw the weights around, which is not a very effective way to work the muscles. You need to be focused on contracting your biceps and triceps as hard as possible on the positive portion of the rep, and getting a controlled stretch on the negative. If you aren't getting a pump when you train, that's one clear sign that your arms aren't really doing the work. In most instances, you just need to cut some weight and tighten up your form.

But I am going to assume your form is not the problem here. What could be going on is that your muscles have adapted to your training, even though you are making a conscious effort to rotate the exercises you use. Sometimes, even that isn't enough to prevent getting stale and hitting a plateau. I do have a special "shock tactic" for arms that I have given to others who have hit a sticking point, and all of them told me later that it worked. And now I am going to sound like an infomercial: It only takes 10 minutes, three times a week! How's that for fast and convenient? 

But I didn't say it was easy. On Monday, Wednesday and Friday, you are going to do the following: Take a pair of dumbbells, maybe 20-pounders. Yeah, that sounds light, but you don't know what you have to do with them yet. Sitting on a flat bench, do 10 reps of alternate dumbbell curls. That should be a breeze. Now, without resting, lay back and do triceps extensions with the same dumbbells for 10 reps. These are just skull crushers done with dumbbells instead of a bar. Sit back up for the curls, then lie back again for the extensions.  You will do this nonstop for 10 full minutes. I guarantee that your biceps and triceps will feel like jelly by the end, but that's the whole idea. Your arms are not used to this type of assault and they will be forced to adapt- by growing. I wouldn't do this every week, or else your arms would get used to this, too. Try doing this every third or fourth week and I bet you start seeing some movement on your tape measure soon.     

             I was going to buy some of that Cell-Tech, but I'm worried it might interfere with my plans for getting cut. Someone once told me Creatine makes you bloated. You use it, so what gives? Do you stop taking Creatine close to your contests when you want to look ripped?

I do stop taking Creatine right at four weeks out from my shows, just because I don't want to have any excess water bloat at all. Of course, the standards I am being judged by are very extreme. Pro bodybuilders these days need to show every little detail and look completely peeled. If we hold the slightest amount of water under our skin, we are dismissed as being "out of shape." I doubt you need to be this lean to be satisfied. I can assure you that in the few weeks before I drop the Creatine, I am still ripped by most people's standards. Therefore, I doubt you need to worry about Cell-Tech affecting your cuts. In fact, Creatine is great for building muscle size and stamina, so you would be shortchanging yourself by not taking advantage of it. Most of the water you hold from Creatine is inside the muscle cells, making you look bigger and fuller, not under the skin where it would cause a bloated look. If you have some event you need to be extra sharp for, you can always eliminate using Creatine a week or two beforehand. But unless you have an event like this coming up, I would say go ahead and use Creatine every day.

I'm a bodybuilder whose family is originally from the Cape Verde Islands. I have a fairly dark complexion. At my last contest (I have been competing for three years), one of the judges told me I wasn't dark enough!  That really threw me. I am curious, do you tan getting ready for a show, use some kind of bronzer, or nothing at all?

I do tan and I do use artificial color to further enhance my skin tone, even though I, too, have a naturally dark complexion. The lights on a bodybuilding stage are so powerfully bright that it's almost impossible to be dark enough to showcase your definition. It may not be so bad at amateur shows, but whenever there is television coverage like at the Arnold, the lights are simply blazing. And I have to admit now that I don't think I was dark enough at the Arnold or the San Francisco shows. I started tanning at five weeks out instead of my usual seven or eight, and I only used one coat of a popular tanning product that you paint on. The reason was that it has a strong alcohol smell that just kills my appetite and puts me in a bad mood. I know some guys who love the smell of this stuff, but not me. From now on, I will use a different brand that doesn't reek so badly and go ahead and apply at least two or three coats. So, for you, I would say yes, definitely hit the tanning bed regularly at least twice a week for the final five or six weeks leading up to your show, and I would also use a tanning product or bronzer. You work so hard to look good, you don't want to place lower than you should have just because of something like your color.

MD Exclusive!

Road to the 2004 Olympia

The last time we talked I was about to head out to Australia after having a bad experience in San Francisco where I had to withdraw before the finals.  With that still fresh in my mind, I did not attempt to stay way down in body fat and water for the week after San Fran. It's not healthy to push your body like that for so long, which is why I was cramping so badly in San Francisco in the first place. So I ate as much as I wanted in the week after, clean diet food of course, and drank plenty of water. My photo shoots were all done, so I didn't have to worry about looking sharp for pictures. I went from 263 up to 270, most of which was pure water. Lighter guys who compete at 200-220 pounds tend not to hold as much water or gain much weight if they do this, but bigger guys like me do. 

I left for Australia on a Tuesday and arrived on Thursday. Once I got there, I did extra cardio and my weight came right back down. By the time I got on stage, I was down to 255 and looked pretty good again, certainly much better than in San Francisco. Dexter, on the other hand, was nowhere near the condition he had been in at the Arnold or in San Francisco. I think even he was surprised when he won instead of me. I am glad in a way, though, because there have been a couple of a-holes (and they know who they are) who bitched that the Australian show was fixed because I won it three years in a row. They even used this as the reason they wouldn't do the show. Yes, I freely admit that the promoter of the show, Tony Doherty, is a friend of mine, but he does not control the judges. 

I felt I should have won that show, just like at the Arnold. I know when I am genuinely the best bodybuilder on stage, and a lot of people seem to agree with me. I was shocked to see how much Markus Ruhl improved. He came in probably about 10 or 15 pounds lighter than usual and it only helped his overall lines. If he brings down the strange swelling in his shoulders and arms, Markus will do even better. But all in all, Australia was a great time as always.  The fans are wonderful and the food is delicious. I ate plenty of it once the show was over!

So that's it for contests until the Olympia. I took three weeks off from the gym after Australia, but now I have begun my off-season building phase. I just need to remain focused and confident over the next few months and I will be able to look as good or better than I did at the Arnold. My trainer, Charles Glass, is making some changes in my training and having me try new exercises.  Charles would never let me get stale. I always have faith in him to help me improve; that's what he does best and he does it very well.

Bonus Commentary

"Criticizing the Critics"

I know this will stir up some controversy, but I feel like all the people at Flex and Muscle & Fitness fill their magazines with a bunch of bullshit. I don't think the writers even believe what they are putting in there. Let me be more specific. Some amateur just won the USA or Nationals, or maybe only his class, and all of a sudden they are raving about how much damage he will do as a pro. Meanwhile, this guy has never even stood on a pro stage with the top guys.  It's not fair to the pros who have been proving themselves against the best in the world for years.

Another problem I have is some of the physiques they feature. To a teenage kid, Flex magazine is their Bible and they desperately want to emulate the men in its pages. So, what happens when you have a bunch of dudes with bloated bellies and lumps of Synthol filling up their arms, shoulders and calves? The biggest reason the older guys like me, Dexter and Kevin are still ahead is that we didn't build our bodies by shooting a bunch of oil into them. In my case, I can say I have been training damn hard for a full 25 years now. It makes me mad to see a calf training feature with Darrem Charles or a triceps article on Ernie Taylor. Some of these kids are gullible enough not to see what's really going on in those body parts, and they wonder how such freaky development can be possible. Please! I confess when I was younger I used to inject regular gear into my calves, but I stopped as soon as I saw the shape was getting weird. 

Back to the predictions of greatness for these new pros. Some of these new jacks are even quoted as saying they watched this or that pro show and they didn't see anybody they couldn't stand next to. The writer will add that this guy is a sure bet for top five in the Olympia as soon as he competes in it. That, again, is disrespectful to those of us who are consistently in the top five at the O. In fact, I was only sixth at my first Olympia in 1994. To make the top five your first time out is very rare. The only guys I can think of who did that from the ‘90s on were Dorian Yates, Flex Wheeler and Kevin Levrone.

            Another point of contention I have with the Weider mags is that they are trying to say MD encourages steroid use. I don't think that's accurate at all. If anything, MD gives info on what's real for those who are going to use steroids anyway. At least they will have an idea on how to use the drugs a little more responsibly and protect their health. It's like parents not letting their kids listen to rap music. Yes, rap music talks about things that aren't always pleasant, but it only reflects the reality of today's urban culture and society as a whole. You can try and shelter your kids from this stuff, but eventually they will be out in the world on their own and discover it. 

Finally, I want to talk about Flex Wheeler and how he has been treating me lately. It's no secret he is a huge fan and supporter of Dexter. I feel Flex is bitter toward me because he had to retire and I am still here competing and making money. So, at the shows, Flex screams his throat out for Dexter.  Backstage he whispers to him so none of us can hear what's he's telling him. It's almost like he's living vicariously through Dexter now that he's out of the game. That's fine, but Flex is supposed to be a reporter now. He should be a little more objective than this. Another thing is that he blows so much smoke up Dexter's ass telling him he's perfect. Look, Dexter is very, very, good, but he's not perfect. And if he starts believing that crap, it will hurt him.

In Flex's Arnold Classic preview, he said I had to prove myself. How's that? Doesn't beating Flex many times and winning over a dozen pro shows mean I don't have to prove myself? He also said something to the effect that I had to do really well at the Arnold or else my career is over. Only I can say when my career is over, OK? In his GNC report, Flex blasted me and really emphasized how this was the worst I ever looked. Flex himself looked pretty bad at the 2002 Olympia, but I never once said anything about it. Thanks to Steve Blechman for giving me a forum to get all this off my chest and keep it real. I didn't get the name Real Deal for nothing, right? Finally, my website http://www.realdeal.com/ should be up by the time you read this, and my training video will also be available as soon as Mits edits it. Until next time, peace out.