Written by Gregg Valentino
13 November 2012

“TALKIN SMACK” with VALENTINO

RANT #2: LIFE, LOVE & THE PURSUIT OF FRIGGIN MUSCLE!

12talkinsmack222-thumb I’M ALIVE…I’M ALIVE…I DID IT!!!..I SURVIVED HURRICANE SANDY!!!... NO WAIT!!!.....HOLD UP…. YO FUCK HURRICANE SANDY THAT WAS EASY FOR ME TO DEAL WITH!!!…..WHAT I MEANT TO SAY IS I SURVIVED 8 FRIGGIN DAYS OF HELL > BEING STUCK IN A DARK COLD HOUSE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND MERCEDES WHO COMPLAINED EVERY FRIGGIN WAKING MOMENT, LIKE SHE IS THE ONLY ONE SUFFERING FROM THIS HURRICANE!!!…YO’, SHE DROVE ME CRAZY!!!!....HOLY-SHIT!!!...FUCK ME , DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE STUCK IN A “CATASTROPHY SURVIVAL TYPE SITUATION” WITH A BIG MOUTH > ‘GHETTO LATINA’ WHO DOES NOT - ‘SHUT THE FUCK UP’, WHO COMPLAINED RELENTLESSLY ABOUT EVERYTHING,,FOR 8 FRIGGIN DAYS???...UUMMM, NO,,, YOU DO NOT!!!!….MY GOD, THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE HURRICANE SANDY ORDEAL, WHILE MOST PEOPLE HERE IN NEW YORK WERE ‘GREATFUL’ TO BE WITH THEIR LOVED ONES DURING THIS TUFF TIME, I KEPT THINKING TO MYSELF, “MY GOD I WISH I WAS ALONE!!!”...I ASKED GOD “WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME GOD???”… “WHY COULDN’T YOU LET ‘THE MADUSA’ HERSELF BE STRANDED WITH HER FAMILY OR SOMEONE ELSE, WHY PUT ME THROUGH THIS UNDESERVED TORTURE ???...WHY ME GOD???…WHY???….I MEAN, YO’ ‘FUCK THE BLACKOUT’, THAT SHIT WAS EASY FOR ME TO DEAL WITH!!!.....AND FUCK THE ‘LACK OF FOOD & RUNNING WATER’,,, HEY GET THIS IN YOUR HEADS > “I’M A CAVEMAN”, I COULD LIVE IN A DIRT HOLE IF I HAD TOO, BUT BEING “STRANDED” IN THE SAME DWELLING WITH MERCEDES FOR 8 DAYS IS SHEER AND UTTER TORTURE!!!!... IT’S DOWN RIGHT UN-HUMANE!!!…..YO IF I HEARD HER CRY & WHINE ONE MORE FRIGGIN TIME > “I’M COLD”,,, “I’M HUNGRY”,,,, “I CAN’T EVEN SEND A TEXT MESSAGE ”,,,,”OH MY GOD I MISS EATING MY SPANISH FOOD” …”THIS SUCKS, I’M MISSING MY NOVELA” ( < LATIN SOAP OPERA )… I SWEAR TO GOD I WANTED TO ‘KILL THE BITCH’ AND THEN BLAME IT ON A FALLEN TREE!!!HURRICANE SANDY WAS NOTHING COMPARED TO HURRICANE MERCEDES!!!..

DUMBELL OF THE MONTH..IS YOU!!! > THE BODYBUILDING FORUM JUNKIES!!!!…...YO’ I AM TOTALLY DISGUSTED WITH A LOT OF THE INTERNET BODYBUILDING COMMUNITY FOR THEIR MOMO-CHILDISH BEHAVIOR!!!.....FIRST OFF MY BOY DEREK ANTHONY IS VERY VERY SICK AND IN A COMA!!!...AND EVEN THOUGH HE IS ‘STILL ALIVE’, HE IS ON DEATHS DOOR STEP!!.. NOW INSTEAD OF GIVING HIM WELL WISHES & PRAYERS OF SUPPORT, THERE ARE FULL THREADS WITH NO-LIFE BODYBUILDING FAN-BOYS ( < THAT ALONE IS GROSS ) MAKING JOKES ABOUT DEREK BEING IN A COMA AND SOME MOMO FAN-BOYS EVEN WISHING DEREK ‘DEATH!!!’.... EVEN LITTLE BOYS KNOW, IT’S BAD KARAMA TO “WISH DEATH” ON SOMEONE WHO HAS DONE NOTHING TO YOU OR YOUR FAMILY , ESPECIALLY SINCE THIS IS SOMEONE YOU NEVER EVEN MET PERSONALLY!!!..WE WERE ALL TAUGHT AS KIDS WISHING BAD ON PEOPLE IS A NO NO!!!…..HEY I AM NOT WISHING BAD ON THE FAN-BOYS, I ONLY WANT “THEIR WISH” TO BOUNCE OFF -DEREK & WHAT THEY WISH FOR DEREK TO SUFFER NOW BOUCES BACK TO THEM AND BECOMES THEIR REALITY TO DEAL WITH!!!“YO’ JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE LOOKS DIFFERENT OR LIVES A DIFFERENT LIFESTYLE THAN YOU, DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO HATE OR WISH BAD ON THAT PERSON!!!”..I MEAN REALLY, WHAT KINDA PERSON WISHES BAD ON SOMEONE WHO NEVER DID ANY WRONG TO THEM???....YO STOP BEING A FRIGGIN MOMO, GO LOOK IN THE MIRROR, IF YOU’RE NOT HAPPY WITH YOURSELF THAN THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM., IT DOESN’T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO CHASTIZE OTHERS WHO HAVE ACCOMPLISHED MORE IN LIFE THAN YOU!!!... YOU'RE WHATS WRONG WITH HUMANITY ....GET WELL DEREK!!!!.... “I Love Humanity and Mankind,,,It's People I Can't friggin Stand!!!”…..GV

FINAL REP….“The United States of America is like a melting pot >> The people at the bottom get burned, while the scum floats to the top!!!!”.

2012, THE YEAR THE MAYAN MOMOS SAID THIS IS “THE LAST YEAR OF THE PLANET EARTH!!”….I SAY “FUCK THE MAYANS” IF THEY WERE SO DAMN SMART THEN WHERE ARE THEY NOW???”,,,HHHMMM YEAH, THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT!!…HEY IN THESE TUFF TIMES, OUR COUNTRY IS IN SERIOUS DEBT, ,, JOBS ARE SCARCE AND WE ARE BALLS DEEP IN A RECESSION!!!AMERICAN VOICES HAVE SCREAMED,,,, CRIED,,, AND BEGGED FOR HELP!!!…WE ALL AGREE “IT’S TIME FOR CHANGE”, SOMETHING JUST HAS TO HAPPEN, THING’S JUST CAN’T STAY THE WAY THEY ARE!!!....SOMEONE HAS TO TAKE ‘THE BULL BY THE HORNS’ AND MAKE A LOT OF NEW CHANGES FOR THIS GREAT NATION TO RECOVER!!!....THE LAST 4 YEARS HAVE YIELDED NO BREAK IN THE RECESSION, OUR POOR ECONOMY IS IN SHAMBLES!!! …...BUT HELP IS ON ITS WAY,,,THANK GOD IT’S NOVEMBER, IT’S TIME TO ELECT A “NEW LEADER” A MODERN DAY “AMERICAN MOSES” TO LEAD US OUT OF THIS BAD FUNK OF A RESSESION WE’VE BEEN IN AND DELIVER US BACK INTO PROSPERITY!!!….WITH ALL THAT SAID >

WE JUST ELECTED A NEW PRESIDENT,,,,NO WAIT,,,, HOLD UP,,,WHAT????....OH SHIT,, ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT AFTER ALL THE AMERICAN PEOPLE CRYING AND COMPLAINING ABOUT A LONG RESESSION ,,, NO JOBS ,,, REDICULOUSLY HIGH GAS PRICES,,, BIG AMERICAN BUSINESS FARMING OUT JOBS TO OVER SEAS COMPANIES ,, IMIGRATION RUNNING-A-MUCK,,,OBAMACARE FUCKING US IN THE ASS …AND NOW WE RE-ELECTED OBAMA AGAIN??? ...REALLY??? ....REALLLY??…. WE RE-ELECTED THE SAME FRIGGIN GUY ,,,AND THE SAME FRIGGIN GOVERNMENT THAT’S BEEN IN OFFICE THE PAST 4 YEARS!!!…..SAME OLD - SAME OLD!!!... 4 MORE YEARS OF THE SAME SHIT,,,I BLAME GEORGE BUSH!!!..*SIKE*..( THAT’S A JOKE YA MOMO ) .. NOW DON’T GET ME WRONG, MITT ROMNEY IS NOT MY IDEA OF A RONALD REGEAN EITHER!!…IT’S A CASE OF “THE LESSER OF 2 EVILS” SO MY CHOICE WAS FOR CHANGE,, MEANING TO GIVE ROMNEY A SHOT - ‘SIMPLY JUST FOR A CHANGE FROM WHAT’S THERE NOW!!!!’SOMETHING NEW,,, SOME NEED BLOOD IN THE WHITE HOUSE BECAUSE WHAT’S THERE NOW HASN’T DONE MUCH OF ANYTHING TO CHANGE THE ECONEMY OR THE WAY WE LIVE!!…HEY LISTEN, OBAMA HAD 4 YEARS TO PROVE TO ME HE IS THE PRESIDENT WE ALL HOPED HE’D BE…IN MY EXPECTATIONS, HE FAILED!!!!.... I DO NOT HATE OBAMA, ON THE CONTRARY, I BET HE IS A NICE GUY IN PERSON, BUT IN MY OPINION JUST NOT THE KINDA PRESIDENT AMERICA NEEDS!!!... AND YO’, HOLY SHIT, WE ALL BETTER JUST HOPE & PRAY THAT OBAMA DOESN'T DIE OR GET BOOTED OUT OF OFFICE BECAUSE THAT BAD TEMPERED PINHEAD JOE BIDEN WOULD BE AN EVEN WORSE NIGHTMARE FOR AMERICA!!!....America, where The Richest one percent hoard an obscene amount of the wealth while the average American has to save up just to eat at Red Lobster on his birthday!!!… Wake up. Because somehow, they’re banging the porn stars, and you’re getting the crabs!!!...Bill Maher

SO NOW, I SUPPORT OBAMA NOW SIMPLY BECAUSE I SUPPORT AMERICA!!!....YES YES YES, I KNOW, WE ARE STUCK WITH OBAMA FOR 4 MORE YEARS AND ALTHOUGH I MAY NOT LIKE MR. OBAMA AS MY PRESIDENT I FEEL I MUST SUPPORT HIM NOW BECAUSE “I SUPPORT AMERICA!!!”...KEEP IN MIND, MY SON IS SERVING THIS COUNTRY IN AN “ELITE” PART OF THE MILITARY, SO I CARE ABOUT MY PRESIDENTS –“METHOD OF OPERATION!!!”….I MEAN COME ON, LETS BE HONEST, “ROOTING AGAINST YOUR PRESIDENT IS ROOTING AGAINST YOUR COUNTRY AND ESSENTIALLY ROOTING AGAINST YOURSELF!!!”…THIS IS JUST MY OPINION, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO AGREE WITH ME, AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ‘LIKE’-OBAMA BUT AS AN AMERICAN I FEEL YOU SHOULD RESPECT THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…. *GULP* - SO I NOW SUPPORT PRESIDENT OBAMA , I'M NOT HAPPY WITH 4 MORE YEARS OF HIS PRESIDENCY / GOVERNMENT , BUT I ACCEPT IT,,, AND YOU JUST KNOW ISRAEL IS NOT HAPPY EITHER,,, BUT YOU CAN BET YOUR SORRY FAT ASS THAT JAY-Z & BEYONCE ARE EXTREMELY HAPPY!!!..I FEEL DIRTY NOW I GOTTA GO SHOWER!!!…..FUCK OFF!


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